The World Is My Backyard

Milton-Bradley should be sued.  I played their “The Game of Life” about 12 or so years ago.  I ended up rich, wealthy, with a hot (tiny, pink) wife and a sick whip (blue plastic box that looks oddly familiar to the modern “Prius”).

Ok, so I cheated – robbed for the bank, stole from the poor (either my sister or brother) and used the money to get richer.  Sue me.  I lived in a fantasy world back int he day.

In third grade I wrote the essay “What I Want To Be When I Grow Up.”  I don’t remember what I put, but whatever it was, I was hellbent on being good at it.

Now, I’m 22 years old and don’t know what to do with my life.  I recieved a BJ (Bachelor of Journalism — get your mind out of the gutter) from the University of Nebraska a liitle more than a week ago.

I’d like to do the TV thing, report/anchor sports, resurrect the phrase “and boom goes the dynamite” (nobody knows how to use it effectivly, and when they do, they suck, and I let them know how I feel).

I’ve applied at 12 or 13 news stations.  I have no internships, or 2 years of experience.  I’m 0-for-7 in my quest for a job.

My mom and dad hate the fact that I thoroughly enjoy solitude and independence.  I find it very peaceful.  It allow me to think and weigh my options — all 5′5″ 128lbs of it.

They’re afraid all the rejections and no prospects of a job will force me into a “rut” and sulk and sulk and so on and so forth.

I’ve been rejected by plenty of women so I’m a professional at accepting rejection, and finding a new lucky lady to pusue.  I have a blackbook. hahaha. Thank you, ladies of the night (think about that).

I’d like to think my life (currently) is like the 2009 NBA Playoff commercials.  They’re awesome and inspiring.  I can’t dunk, my shooting percentage hovers around a blistering 17 percent and my post presents is like a Special Ops Sniper — you never see me, and I’m always there — just not as intimidating.  Take a look.  Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYa5u-lPS8c&feature=related (King James)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac4HOTcbf2o&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=411702174ADBF181 (Black Mamba)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeArg1v4Hck&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=411702174ADBF181&index=8 (Flash)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-rDXn-wAGk&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=411702174ADBF181&index=10 (Superman)